unapologetically alive knot in my stomach

Everyone is stressing!!! Ahhh! Stress! Stupid goddamn stress about school, about work, about parents, friends, life. It sucks! But I'm okay again. Last week I flipped at a few people, some of them deserved it, some didn't. I went to school all day, work some evenings, and did homework, literally, the whole rest of the week. It was an awful week. Then Friday I got the rest of my stupid wisdom teeth out, now I'm in a TON of pain, and I worked all day, and thought I was going to die! The thought of eating anymore pudding makes me want to vomit. Last night at AW's I ate 8 slices of processed cheese, because I could swallow it. Isn't that disgusting??

I saw a man hit his kid today at work. Not a hard hit, but a little smack on the head. I almost threw up, or punched him in the face. You don't do that!!!! You can't teach kids that hitting is wrong, then smack them over the head when they want you to buy them a toy! I think it was Bad Parent Day at TRU. Another little girl came walking down the aisle I was working in going "Mommy? Mommy? Mommy? Mom?..." She was super-calm, and everything. So we went to look for her mom. When we found her mom, on the other side of the store, she hadn't even realized her daughter was missing. I had to refrain from hitting her too. Some people shouldn't be allowed to have children.

I am calmer now than I used to be. I can accept that I'm not perfect. I can accept that I don't like everyone, and not everyone likes me. It's going to be okay, no matter how often it feels like I'm screwing up nonstop with EVERYTHING. Everything is okay. Okay. Okay?