Closing Night

Tonight is the last night of our 15 show run. The last night of three and a half months of 4 day a week rehearsals. The last night I get to put on the sparkly dress and run around looking sad for an hour and a half. The last night I have a hair dresser doing my hair, the last night I get to say "props", the last night I get to fight, the last night of the kiss (no prob there...), the last night I get to run across the stage barefoot. I won't get to talk to these people anymore, I won't get to walk around half naked and not feel self-conscious, I won't get to bow, I won't get complimented anymore. No more dancing backstage, no more goofing off backstage, no more putting on the shiny gloves. The last night I get to be a "graceful" dancer. The last night I get to smile at the end. I'm feeling so lost!

I've been looking forward to the end, to having enough sleep. Now that it's finally here, I don't want it to be over! I am so thankful to have had a chance to work with these people, to talk to these people, to laugh with and learn from them. I am so glad I did this, even when it took over my life. And I'm going to wake up tomorrow, with NOTHING. It will all be gone, I'll have some photos, a worn out script, and fantastic memories. The chances of me seeing these people again are slim to nil for the most part. Everyone always says they'll keep in touch, but I've worked with enough shows to know they never do. I just can't accept the end. I've been walking around my house all day feeling like I don't know what to do, and I still have one show. The ending is just so abrupt!

I'm SO glad I did it, it has been a wonderful experience. It's just such a sad finish. I promised myself I wouldn't cry at the end of the cast party tonight, but I don't know if that will happen. This is so difficult!