But if I'd done it...

I had my first two university auditions this past weekend. Hell. It scares me so much, because I don't know what I want to do, or where I want to do it. I don't think people realize how stressed I am. I have to keep my marks up, prep for auditions, learn the lines for my play, learn the lines for my other play, work occasionally so I don't get fired, fill out PIFs, rehearse constantly... I can't sleep well anymore. I wake up constantly. My eyes hurt, I am always tired. I am not unhappy, which is how I usually feel when I'm stressed, so that is good. I am just busy, and tired.

I see my friends almost never, except for CM and JS and anyone else in production. I miss them, but I also I am feeling more independant. Maybe I am subconsiously prepping myself for going away next year while the rest of my friends stay at high school and have fun together. I know I will like University. I know it's time to get away from high school, where I feel I am wasting my time. I will just miss everyone so much!