I need a hug!!!

Drama council went great today, I am totally excited. At first I was getting scared, because all the people coming in were grade 9s. But everyone ended up getting right into it, I had a fun time, and I'm pretty sure everyone else did too. Although someone got on my nerves, who doesn't usually, but he seems to be turning into a bit of a sleazebucket (another great word...). If you hadn't guessed, it's CM. JP broke up with him (that made their relationship... 5 days??? That's right). Something's up with him, and I can't decide whether to be worried, or disgusted, so I guess I'll be a mixture of both. Because I probably never will know. Oh well. I hope everything's alright.

I'm feeling lonely. I miss my friends, I miss what's going on. Again with the "hooking-up", I know of two more who are thinking about it. I wish I could just try it. A "hooking-up" demo. That ends with no hurt feelings, and the experience. No risks, no embarassment, just an experience different from that with J. Everyone thinks we were just friends. We were... to an extent. He was the best hugger. EVER. I'm so glad I knew him. I need someone to hug that would let me hold on for as long as I want, and wouldn't wimp out. Strong arms, no loose ones. Just a great big long hug of support. I need to know there is someone out there who would do that for me. Hug me and not let go until I was done. But that person is gone, probably forever. And I have yet to meet someone else like that. And I'm starting to think I won't.