When I grow up...

Monday I went to Montreal to take a good look at the University I'll probably be attending. Gorgeous, looks perfect for me. Get home, excited. Now I realize that next year I AM MOVING OUT OF MY HOUSE. If I go to Montreal, I will have my own apartment. I AM LEAVING. Leaving my friends, leaving my family, leaving my job, leaving my school, leaving my town, leaving my church, leaving my theatre, leaving everything I've known, become comfortable with. The adventurer in me thinks this is awesome. The adventurer seems to be hiding. I have never been so frightened in my entire life. Next year I become pretty much independant. I have to fix my own problems. Take care of myself.

Half the time I think this is great. I don't get along so well with my friends anymore. Well, we get along, but it's not as much fun as it used to be. I'm tired of my life, and a change will be wonderful. I'm just so... tired. And I know that I will be ALONE. For the first time ever. I've always been alone, technically, we all have, we all have only ourselves to get by. But I will have JUST me. And I will be lonely. God.

TT had a birthday party last night. It was a girls only night, and that was SO great. I hadn't realized how tired I was of guys. Guys who purposely try to piss me off. Guys who think my feminism is a joke. Guys who seem to require constant, non-stop attention. Guys who play with me. So we had gossip and ice cream, and just goofed off. It was nice.

TT and I broke into Q on Friday to see the BC concert. We danced the whole thing in the weight room, snuck out, and left vandalism sidewalk chalk all over the parking lot behind JS's car. We have so much fun. I know I will miss her. I will miss adventures. I will miss a lot. Oh dear.