"I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell...?

Rehearsals are going a little better, I've gotten through three in a row without crying. I still feel overwhelmed with sadness the whole way through. I agree with Mr. G, it is a pretty cool piece of theatre, but I still don't think it is appropriate. I'm TERRIFIED to do it in front of an audience. I hope I get through it okay. I still feel as though I'm doing a crappy job, but if I let myself do it the way it should be done, it might really, really hurt me. I still can't explain it. That pisses me off too.

Friends... are there. Just piss me off too, occasionally. Had an awesome afternoon today, drove JS and AM to the radio station, and who should be working but Carlos, the sound guy from RRTM. This guy is cool, I absolutely adore him. One night before the show we ate an entire bag of Cool Ranch chips, talking the whole time about Ranch. Not joking. He taught me some street talk, word. So, that was fun. We got back in time for rehearsal (joy). Tomorrow we have all day off school to go to the mall and sell tickets. Then we'll go to CS's until the tech rehearsal.

I can't wait until this show is over. I wish wish wish I had a different part. I see all these parts that I know I could just nail. I could do so well. I can't do this one well, and that pisses me off. Wow, I'm pretty pissed off! Oh well. One week left. I do love being part of a play, I just wish I wasn't this part. Meh.