Randomness...

So... camping was fun. I think. I know that I will camp again, waking up with no plans is incredible, as is staring at Mars and the Moon rising from behind the rock/cliff. The gossip was horrible, the going-ons are tacky. I love all my friends very much, but GOD we are immature. I like to think that I am ready to be by myself. To make my own decisions. A lot of my friends most definitely are not. Am I? It's a scary thought.

I'm also starting to regret my ridiculous honesty. If I am asked a question, I will answer it honestly. I don't like people knowing all kinds of things about me. And everything has become sexual again, there are an unbelievable number of innuendoes, and crap about people, and what is appealing and not. Why is sex SO important? Well, if not important, then prominent in discussions? All discussions. Whatever, I suppose. In nine days I am gone. And that is another scary thought.

I had a chat with JS this morning about everything we are feeling. It is crazy. It is a whirlwind, I am trapped, scared, and frustrated. With the people I love here. Some of them. Why is this shit happening? Why can't everything be slightly less complicated, as it was before? Why can't I be happy? Is it because I am afraid? Or because I am tired of my life? This upcoming change is going to be the biggest of my life. I can't wait... except for that knot in my stomach that gets tighter every day.