I LUST the apple

Theatre Performance Professor: Okay, I just want you to talk to each other for two minutes, just being yourself.

J: I don't want to be myself. I'm just going to tell you a story, okay?

Me: Sure.

J: Once there was a mouse. This mouse lived in a house and one day he got up and walked through some dry leaves, and saw a tunnel. He went through the tunnel, where he found some birds. They thought it would be fun to play chess, so they did. The mouse was really happy, because he won, then he went to the corner store and got a popsicle. He was a big mouse, like, a human size mouse. He wanted to take a shortcut, so he decided to jump over the fence. He could, because he was wearing his converse shoes.

This mouse was obsessive compulsive, he really liked to brush his teeth, he brushed them all the time, like seven times a day. He had a bunch of kids, he used to have a girlfriend but the kids didn't like her. They took her into a hall where a big cat killed her. So the mouse-

Me: ... will you be my best friend?